Dear Sadie and Milo, Get Over Me! Love, Mom

My Dearest Children,
You have a father. He is the other one who sees you every day, kisses you, talks to you, brushes your teeth, makes you dinner. He is the one that we call Dad. He is a fully capable and willing parent, as am I. Use him.
Love,
Your overwhelmed, overtired, overworked, and overneeded Mother

Sound familiar? Here are some tips for changing the status quo:

1. Allow more alone time with the other parent. If one parent stays at home, it seems only natural for a child to develop a preference. Give that child special trips to the grocery store, picnics at the park, trips to Grandma's house - with just the other parent. Note: you will appreciate it too!
2. Set the rules and stick to the routine. I get to put the baby to bed and my husband puts our 3 year old to bed. Since we're consistent, the 3 year old knows what to expect, and although she may ask - she accepts it much more quickly. So pick your jobs - daddy does baths, mommy does bedtime... and stick with it!
3. Don't step in. Let the other parent handle it, as much as your child may protest. It will be hard at first, but being consistent will pay off again.
4. Feel free to tell your child that you are busy, that the other parent will do it, and they can go without if they prefer. So, if my daughter insists that I get her a toy that she cannot reach, I can explain to her that I am busy feeding the baby, that her father can get the toy or she can go without the toy.

And remember, the little ones are not old enough to understand that they are hurting feelings - so don't take it personally. Validate her feelings, but explain that Mommies and Daddies both love to do for their babies.